The Will-Nots....

When your spouse is in medical school, a funny thing happens.. you and your spouse start developing a whole bunch of Will-Not's.

We (and/or I) will not....

• not vaccinate our children
• play with fireworks: look, but don't touch
• weed-eat without eye protection
• go without religiously consuming folic acid and other prenatal vitamins within months of trying to conceive
• pick at zits on a particular vein line on our faces
• use a certain face cream ingredient anytime before or during pregnancy
• use q-tips in our ears 
• smoke. ever.
• ever have an inkling of thought that it might be fun to get on the back of a motorcycle
• talk about cadaver dissection around dinner time
• go fishing without being paranoid of getting a hook stuck in our eyes; our family will probably be wearing goggles on fishing trips with some weird rule of watching each person cast one at a time
• not monitor our health and go to a doctor when our intuition tells us that we should
• ..... and that is just a few!!   

Hahaha! So, anyway, if you ever wonder what we're up to around this house... it's studying and getting freaked out by all the diseases, damage, and trauma that is potential to a human body! Just kidding! ...Well, kind of. {Hashtag- med school problems}

And, in no way is this meant to be condescending to those who make these decisions-- these are just our opinions!

We're 9 weeks into this semester. It's been an adjustment, but it's good. We are so thankful to be where we are. We are also looking forward to a medical mission trip to Ethiopia in December. It will be so amazing to get clinic volunteer experience and have that entire trip together. As if I didn't already have a lot on my plate, I decided to start making necklaces to help raise money and I've already raised over $1,000! I'm in awe and so thankful. You can check them out at www.etsy.com/shop/sharehopeshop

On the good days, bad days and every day between... we are so truly blessed.

And it's fall.... and that makes us VERY HAPPY!!

Week 1

Week 1 is officially in the books. Done.

Studying is the cool thing to be doing in this house! 

Cheers!

There's the last sunset to our summer.

And tomorrow's sunrise will open a whole new chapter in our lives.

Better Together

Another school year almost finished!!

As a couple, all of our hard work is finally coming to fruition. Believe ME, this whole "both graduate college, hate our jobs, go back to college to do what we truly want to do" thing has not been an easy journey in the past few years. There have been tears, ramen noodles, fights, all-nighters, hard exams, long applications, wait-lists... pretty much anything and all the things listed in a thesaurus under 'ridiculous amounts of stress'.

Now, let me tell you some of the other things this journey has brought this past year-- tears of pride for Tony's good MCAT score after months of dedicated studying, the excitement of visiting schools for him to interview, the JOY of getting that precious acceptance letter, the anticipation of more goals and dreams for our future. We've sure learned a lot in the classroom, but we've learned even more about ourselves, both individually and as a couple.

After conquering all these battles, we have a renewed sense of commitment to each other and a refreshed hope for our future. We finally figured out that we make a pretty awesome team together and can accomplish anything we put our minds to.

a metamorphosis

....But then I shut up and it hit me.

We are working so hard and slowly all of our 'we wants' are beautifully metamorphosing into 'we wills'.

Our dreams are becoming realities.

I love this feeling.

A Year of Love, Learning, and Miracles

The past 365 days have been an accumulation of what has been the most defining year of my life.

Exactly one year ago today my mom and I started on a journey to Ethiopia. It’s a country that holds a very special place in my heart. I was so happy to be sharing that piece of my heart and soul with my mother; to have somebody I love, step out of her comfort zone and share that experience with me, was truly one of the most meaningful things anyone has given me.  We definitely had some life changing experiences on our trip. The most life-changing was a telephone call. The internet was down, so we had to use the guesthouse phone to call my dad, via phone operator who connected us. I remember that night as if it were yesterday; we sat in the lobby and wept. The two words, “pancreatic cancer” were the devastating words that sent us packing to return home early, throwing us into a whirlwind year waiting to be had.

We experienced so much on our trip. We were scheduled to be there for three weeks, but as it turned out we were only there for a few short days; however, in those days we were still able to love, give, and learn. We donated tons of items to a great organization, traveled to a village to meet a boy that our family sponsored, walked the halls of the Mother Teresa- ‘Missionaries of Charity’ hospital/compound, and volunteered in the community of Korah. All those things, individually and collaboratively, helped me define unrealized dreams and goals hidden in my heart; they are continuous motivation to follow the path I truly want for my life.  

After the news, we waited 2 days for the next flight out of Ethiopia and had over 24 hours of traveling to try and come to terms with the monster we’d be fighting as soon as we landed back in Tulsa. Perhaps the saying is true, you don’t know how strong you are until you have no other choice. It’s been quite a year. My parents are my heroes. They have been so strong, loved each other through every single second of this past year, and have been shining examples of handling bad circumstances with grace. We've been in the valleys, and we've been on the mountains.

Every single day for the past 365 days, I have thanked God for the blessings in my life. I've cherished the small things. I've told myself, “Enjoy today. Be thankful for right now. Remember this day.” This past year has been so hard.There have been days that I've wanted to just stay in bed and cry. There have also been days that I've not wanted to sleep because I knew I needed to make the most of every second. There have been so many lessons, so much love, and so many memories for my family this past year.

I stepped onto that airplane, leaving for Ethiopia, never knowing how much my life would change in the following year. In a very twisted way, I’m thankful for this past year. It has taught me more about myself, life, love, and family than I probably would have ever, in my entire life, known otherwise. We are all stronger, happier, wiser, and..... most importantly, we are all alive and still able to make the very most of every single day.  

Thank you friends and family for all your support through this past year.
THIS PAST YEAR IS FINALLY OVER-- WOOHOO!!

April 2012

Ethiopia, April 2012
meeting Biruk

Houston, May 2012
after surgery

Houston, May 2012
up and walking

Houston, June 2012
a walk around the hospital to get out of the room for a bit
(dad calls this his "fell off the back of the hearse and lived" picture! haha)

October 2012
after mom's surgery

November 2012
still taking chemo- still staying active

a Christmas we were so thankful to have together

January 2013
going in for more tests... with devastating news to follow

February 2013
 living a 'quality' life- enjoying the days

March 2013
sharing our story- such an amazing experience
we love ellen!!!!!!

March 2013
zip lining on the cruise, truly enjoying life and
making priceless memories

Now.
SO THANKFUL FOR THIS MIRACLE 

Banana Bread Cake

OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS, AMAZING.
One bite and you'll absolutely melt.

Your heart will thank me, but if you're counting your daily calories you might be a little upset.
You'll get over it after the first bite.

I had a few very ripe bananas that needed to be used ASAP before turning totally black and disgusting. I had planned on making banana bread today, but I saw this recipe shared on Facebook and had to try it.... and now I'm not so sure I'll be making banana bread anytime in the future.

The recipe was coined as "Banana Bread Bars" but I didn't have a jelly roll pan so I just made it like a cake. I halved the recipe and made it in a 6 x 10 Pyrex dish (not sure if that's a common size... but it's a little bit smaller than 9 x 13).... and it came out to be just perfect for that size dish. Not to mention, plenty for just 2 people.

Ready. Set. START MAKING IT!!!

Essentially you make the cake, and once it's baking in the oven you start on the frosting.

Banana Bread Cake:
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup softened butter
2 eggs
3 or 4 ripe and mashed bananas
(I used about 3 1/2 for the halved recipe; in banana bread I love having some extra banana so I tried it with this too-- it turned out great)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
(optional) 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
(i'm a no-nuts kinda girl myself... but if you must)

Heat oven to 375. Grease your dish.

In large mixing bowl beat together the sugar, sour cream, butter and eggs until it's creamy.
Blend in bananas and vanilla extract.
Add flour, baking soda, and salt and blend for 1 minute.
(stir in walnuts if you're adding nuts)

Spread banana batter evenly into pan and bake for 20 minutes or until golden brown.
(you can always use the toothpick method to make sure it's not gooey before taking it out)

While the cake is baking, start the frosting.

Brown Butter Frosting (aka, my new favorite frosting):

1/2 cup butter
4 cups powdered sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 tablespoons milk

Over medium heat, heat butter in a large saucepan until boiling-- let the butter turn a light golden brown and remove from heat right away.

Add powered sugar, vanilla extract and milk.
Whisk together until smooth (consistency should be thicker than a glaze but not too thick-- it'll harden up later)
Mine was sort of clumpy so I added a little bit more milk until it became a little more smooth.

Once the cake is out of the oven (still warm), using a spatula spread the warm frosting evenly over the top of the cake. After a couple of minutes of cooling the frosting will harden.

ENJOY!

An Easter Miracle

We feel as if we have truly had our own Easter miracle in the Anello family this week.

We thought the results on Tuesday would be giving us more of an idea of how much time we had left together, to see how much the cancer had grown and where we would go from here.

We received news that completely amazed all of us.

The doctors have no explanation. 

Simply a miracle. 

Straight from the report:

The spot on his liver has "markedly improved and is barely visible on the current exam... and no other lesions are found" The word 'significantly' was also used in the report about the improvement. His blood work was all normal and doctors said everything looks normal and great!! The radiologist said he can see where the spot used to be, but as far as he's concerned, there is nothing there.

Now, the time we have left together is indefinite. 

There are simply no words, just more tears... tears of happiness. We're still dumbfounded, humbled, grateful, speechless, and most of all, just thankful beyond words. It was nothing we expected but everything we wished, hoped and prayed for. The doctor said it is the best news he could give, and it is most certainly the best news we could have ever received. We pray the scans in 3 more months are just as amazing!

Had my dad not had the surgery last May, doctors said he would have only lived about six months.

I know I haven't be too specific about the prognosis in January, I did that on purpose because we were trying really hard not to focus on the time we had left.  Truth is, we were told by the doctors in January that he had "months to a year" to live. To live, and that's what we had decided to do.

This is a very fast-growing, aggressive cancer. Much like pancreatic cancer, it doesn't give a lot of warning. Although no doctor can accurately determine "exactly how long" a patient has to live, they can approximate in days, weeks, months, years. His was months. We weren't even making plans past June because we didn't know how he would feel at that point; that's a horrible thing for any family to have to do. My dad was living, knowing that he was dying. I'm so very proud of him for handling it with such grace, faith, peace and optimism. In these past months I've truly seen a side of my dad that I had never seen before.

We are now on top of a mountain, thankful for this second chance at life. Even though this cancer has taken our family on a roller coaster to hell and back, it has taught us the true meaning of what living should be. I hope that we never, not a single day, take this lesson and miracle for granted.  Life is so very precious. Our family is so thankful and in awe of all the blessings we've been given this past year. God is surely capable of doing more than our wildest dreams.


This week has most definitely brought new life for all of us. 
Never has Easter meant so much to my little soul. 

Paradise.

The past week pretty much consisted of this:

PARADISE.

Our family had such an incredible trip. It's hard for me to even find words to describe it. 

The ship, Allure of the Seas, was like none other, a truly stunning ship. I know some people aren't crazy about cruises or have no interest in them but I think this ship could most definitely change any one's mind about cruises. This ship was amazing. Not to mention, the VIP treatment they gave us was totally outstanding- ocean view balconies, a couple bouquets with a dozen roses, and daily champagne with cheeses, fruits, and sweets delivered to the room. We had access to a VIP deck, concierge lounge with free drinks, VIP admittance and seating in all the shows, even a private tour up to the bridge to meet the captain... really, everything was quite nice.  

The islands we visited were breathtaking. The weather was perfect. The beaches were beautiful. The water was pristine. It was paradise. 

But, what's even better than ALL of that? The memories that were made-- the laughs, the jokes, the kisses and hugs, the conversations, the adventures, and the moments. All the priceless, happy moments. The 10 of us truly had the most fun and happy week. I think it exceeded all our expectations, I know it sure did for me. These really are memories that all of us will cherish for the rest of our lives. Different days, different comments would be made from all of us about what a perfect day it was. 

Somehow we managed to squeeze so much happiness into one little week. It was exactly what we wanted and needed. The essence of the whole trip was truly perfect. 

But then Saturday came and as hard as I tried to fight it, avoid it, escape it, and not think about it... I was often reminded that it was coming to an end and we would be going back to 'the real world'. I laid in bed Friday night and fought tears. I didn't want this perfect, happy week to ever end. I felt like a selfish little child who had their favorite, beloved little security blanket wrapped tightly in my hands, held so close to my heart.... knowing it was going to soon be taken away. I desperately wanted that week to last forever. 

Don't get me wrong, I am BEYOND grateful to have had this trip and I wouldn't have never traded it for the world. It was crying more for how grateful I was to have had this experience and these memories and how scared I am about what this trip was intended for--- to make these precious memories now because we might not have many other chances; that we really do need to bottle up all these moments now because this will be all that we have later. That's a really hard pill to swallow when you take a step back and think about it. It just gives me a big lump in my throat and makes my heart hurt. It's difficult to even go there yet. 

And so here I am, in the middle of the night writing this blog because sleep escapes me. My dad's scans were today and results are tomorrow. Waiting for scan results is awful. 

The Rest of the Story

Yes, we were on the Ellen Show! It was so exciting, surreal, crazy, fantastic, with a little bit of nervousness thrown in there.

You can't come close to including everything into a short little clip, so here's the "rest of the story".

When I said, "tough year" for our family, let me break it down:

In April my mom and I were in Ethiopia. We all thought my dad was just going in for a procedure to check for gallstones. Alone in his office, my mom and I on the other side of the world, the doctor told my dad he had pancreatic cancer. 

After hearing the news, we had to wait two days for the next flight out of Ethiopia (add 2 days travel). We finally arrived home and the very next week my parents flew down to MD Anderson for a consultation. Fortunately, a surgery opened up, he qualified, so they scheduled him for surgery the very next Monday. It was Mother's day weekend, so I flew down to Houston for Mother's day and the surgery. 

Monday, May 14, my dad had a 10 hour Whipple surgery. It's a doozie- essentially, they open you up and take a little from here, a little from there... more of here, and some from there. The surgery went really well. The surgeons were amazing, my dad did great, pathology even came back with results that clear margins were obtained and all the cancer was out. That was a really good thing.

In June my parents finally came home from Houston. My dad had lost about 30-ish pounds and was still on a feeding tube that had to be changed twice a day. He slowly started eating foods again, feeding tube came out, he gained strength, even started playing tennis again. Then he started a six month regimen of chemotherapy which was being used as a preventative measure just to "make sure" everything was gone. 

Did I mention that my mom was being a total trooper through all of this and was having horrible hip problems? She had to stay at a weekly, extended stay, hotel in Houston and walk to/from the hospital every day. To say the pain was awful was an understatement  It came to a point where she couldn't put it off any longer, went to the doctor and found out there was no other option than a total hip replacement. 

October 1, she had a hip replacement, followed by about a month of rehab, using a walker, etc. Compared to a Whipple it might look a lot less "serious", but it's still pretty intense.  

Christmas was SO VERY happy for us. My dad had just finished chemotherapy, my mom was walking pain free--- we were all alive and counting every single blessing. We were ready to go into the new year with a new start and have that really hard year behind us.

In January my parents went down for my dad's routine (every 3-months) scans. A spot was found on his liver. It was nothing we expected, we were utterly blindsided by the news.  

This is where we are today. We don't know exactly how much time we have left together. We pray every single day that it's more than what doctors might think. This is the thing-- we don't focus on "how much time we have left". We focus on the quality of time we have left. Our family is choosing joy. We are choosing to take this hand that life has dealt us. We are living life like EVERYBODY should live their lives anyway. Nobody, not a single one of us, knows when we will die. Shouldn't we all live our lives in a way that makes the most of today? We are happy. If we choose anything but optimism and happiness it's simply going to be a waste of really precious time. 

Maybe there's a silver lining to cancer. We get to say things and do things that maybe we would have been too busy or mindless to do. I get to ask my dad words of wisdom that will last me my entire life. I get to tell him my hopes and dreams, and reassure him that we will all be okay. He has worked so hard and created an amazing life, family, and legacy. There are no words for how much my heart breaks thinking of him not being here. I wish more than anything I didn't have to watch my mom go through this. I wish that he could watch me raise kids. I wish.... so much. 

I don't know what our future holds, but I do know this. I have had 27 years with a dad that most girls only dream of having. He has invested so much love, support and encouragement into my life in these 27 years that I KNOW I will be okay for the rest of my entire life. 

I had never written into a tv show before, nor did I think this little 1500 character email would go anywhere. Ellen gets thousands of letter from families saying "thank you for brightening up my day". I'm just a normal daughter who wishes I could show the world how amazing my parents truly are, I just so happened to get that chance. My mom and dad celebrated 31 years of marriage on Wednesday while we were in LA for the show. I consider myself so extremely blessed to have them, and to have the Ellen staff take the time to hear our story. I pray that somehow we touched other people who watch. Our message is simply this-- enjoy every day, cherish every moment you're given, and hold your loved ones tight.... and make lots of awesome memories!  

This entire experience has given us extraordinary memories. Ellen is obviously just as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside, she truly makes this world a better place for everybody. Her staff is all pretty incredible too! 

Now... for the trip of a lifetime! We get to go enjoy a trip that would have never ever been possible without this experience-- all 10 of us are going!!

We will all hold these memories so close to our hearts for the rest of all our entire lives. 

Long Time Coming

Blogging has been on my mind a lot lately. Not because I have anything extra significant I want to write, more so because it's a good way just to document the every day things. More of a reflection collection. Someday I think I'll really want to savor these days. Especially the days in this year to come.

A brief catch up. 

My mom had surgery for a hip replacement, my dad had six months of chemo, my husband had medical school interviews, my dog started having seizures. Those are just the big things that stand out. It could have been a lot worse. It could have been a little less stressful too. All things considered, I'm thankful for each of those things. Honestly. My mom is walking without pain now. My dad was playing tennis, working and handling chemo really well. Tony did great in his interviews. Alex... well, I'm not thankful about any of that, but thankful she's handled them okay. 

I'm back in school and made all A's through all of the above mentioned things. I thought that was a little bit of a feat; not the most difficult classes, but all things considered, it wasn't a walk in the park either. 

Tony was accepted to medical school! Those six words hold a lot of emotion, years of hard work, tears, doubt, and commitment (for both of us individually and as a couple). We had a really fun little trip for interviews. Right before the trip we found out he was accepted to OU so it really eased the stress and made it 100 times more enjoyable. We've chosen to stay here in Oklahoma. It's the very best place for us right now. 

Christmas was so nice. I've really learned to never take a single day for granted. Life is so fragile and never guaranteed. As our family (all 25ish of us) stood in a circle holding hands on Christmas to pray before we ate I took a moment to remind everyone how thankful we should be that we are all together. The doctors had said that if my dad hadn't had his surgery that he probably would have only lived about 6 months. That means he wouldn't have even been there for Christmas. Too much for my heart to take. Hold your loved ones tight. 

I was anxious to ring in the new year- coining this year as "lucky 13". And, the year has been a lot of what none of us wanted it to be. January was rough. 

I did have a really great birthday, though. 

The day after my birthday could earn a trophy for being one of the crappiest days ever. We were in Tulsa. I woke up at 7 AM to Alex having a horrible seizure, actually two, and they were bad, scary, and really messy. Then, my mom, brother and I went with my dad to see the oncologist. Yeah, that's one of those experiences when you're sitting there and get really pissed off and sad that it's not just a bad dream you can wake yourself up from. We knew it wasn't going to be good, but it still really sucked. If "sucked" could even describe it. It's certainly a day I'll never forget. 

We will not give up hope. 

We definitely all have good days and bad days, but we are choosing joy and making it a point to make the very best of every day. We can't spend valuable time we have worrying and being upset. I started crying on the phone with my dad one night and he straight up told me, "You can't keep crying. I don't want you to cry. You'll be wasting good time if you keep crying." True. We must make the best of every moment. I make it a point to breathe in moments. Whether it's a holiday or a simple 5 minute phone call, I try to savor moments. I know that someday those little moments are going to be so very special to me- I just want to bottle up all these moments because I know that later on, 5 or 25 years from now, I'll give anything to have them again.   

New Year and a Grateful Heart.

13 has always been my lucky number, and I'm praying this year is nothing short of wonderful.

I couldn't be happier going into this brand new year.

2012 was full of life changing moments. One two separate continents I learned more about myself than I ever knew. I learned more about my love for my family. I learned what I really want for my future. I learned that I have a really good life and I will never go a day taking it for granted.

From the halls of the Mother Teresa Hospital in Ethiopia to the halls of MD Anderson Hospital in Texas, my life was forever changed. I would do anything in my power to take away the cancer and everything my dad had to endure. I would erase the entire thing from the family history books if I could. I cannot. So I will gather the memories, lessons, silver linings, and all the precious memories into my bucket and consider it a season that is now behind us. Please, Lord, forever behind us. I will now look forward at the goals, hopes and dreams that have been created out of such a sad circumstance.

I'm starting 2013 with a grateful heart.