Thirty

I've decided that I'm actually really happy to be thirty.
I'm not exactly thrilled that I've been fighting a nasty case of pneumonia and I'm really disappointed I had to cancel my 30th birthday trip to NYC with my husband, but I've had some silver linings and that's good enough for me.


So, why am I happy to be 30?   ....Well, first, let's take a little look back.

In the beginning there was childhood: the magical time in life.
Honestly, I look back and have warm fuzzy feelings. Everything was happy.
The best family. Vacations. Playing outside until the sun went down. My first puppies: Rascal & Buster. Becoming an aunt. Disney World. Hours of basketball in the driveway. Birthday parties and slumber parties. Loose teeth and visits from the tooth fairy. A small private school family. Innocence. Make believe. Just a general feeling that all is right within the world. Thinking Disney princesses are real and being in awe that Santa made it around the world so quickly all in one night. Lots of curly blonde hair and fluffy, pink dresses.

Next, the teenage years: the good, the great, the bad, and the ugly.
Oh, the teenage years. Awesome stuff. Hard stuff. Puppy love stuff. Heartbreaking stuff.
It was the years of discovering the world outside my little childhood bubble. There were years with braces. A time when NSYNC posters covered my walls. [I met Justin Timberlake and he didn't take those brief 30 seconds to fall madly in love with me= Devastating.] Chick flicks became a thing and I daydreamed of boys. There was a world of magazines and pop culture telling me that I needed to be prettier, thinner, blonder, richer, more this, more that, and I listened to some of it when I shouldn't have. I fell for a boy who ended up breaking my heart. There was a special group of girls who never left my side. My parents gave me guidance, trust, room to grow and be independent, and they also gave me my first set of car keys. We lived for Friday night football games; one special Friday night I had the honor of being crowned Homecoming Queen. There were more boys and more lessons learned. I also learned how to stand up for myself. There were hours of homework, extra curricular activities, sports, and college applications. There was a fun trip to Europe that I would really come to appreciate later on in life. A Valedictorian speech ended high school and it was off to college with endless possibilities for my future.  

Then came the twenties: the defining, delicate, and intricate years of "figuring it out".
I fell head over heels in love with a boy I had liked since the third grade. Engaged at 19. Married at 20. We were young and took a head-first dive into the cold waters of adulthood. There were responsibilities and bills to pay. There were good days and bad days navigating a new marriage. There was some baggage and ghosts from the past that we tackled. We had a terribly long year with a deployment to Iraq but we made it. We learned a lot; how to cook, how to budget, how to communicate better, and we also learned we were pretty bad at resisting adorable little puppies that needed a home. We had no idea what we were going to do in life but we graduated college anyway. We both found (unfulfilling) careers, which became blessings in disguise to push us further. We purchased our first home and found joy working together on various projects inside and outside. We did lots of fun traveling together. I went to Africa by myself for a month, then back with my mom, then back with Tony. We both went back to school with hard semesters full of chemistries and physics. There were really hard goodbyes through these years as we laid loved ones to rest. We grew up, matured, and started finding ourselves both individually and together as a couple. We started laying out goals, dreams, and plans. For Tony there were endless essays, applications, deadlines, and interviews for medical school. For me it seemed like endless hours of listening, proofreading, reassuring, praying, and praising. Hard work paid off and the goal was met! The med school journey began and we met some of the most amazing people. My application to medical school was interrupted by the surprise, and dream come true, of motherhood. A little boy came and turned our world, completely and utterly, upside down. There was amazing teamwork in the new chapter of parenthood.



And now the thirties: when dreams come true.

I'm really happy with my marriage.
This year we will celebrate 10 years of marriage and we are happier now that we have ever been. We have poured 10 years of dedication, love, and hard work into getting where we are today in our marriage. Some people say that having children makes it more stressful on a marriage and, quite frankly, we've had the very opposite experience. Becoming parents has been one of the happiest and best things to happen to us. We are best friends, dreamers, lovers, partners and teammates. With age comes wisdom; wisdom to communicate better, love better, serve better, see the best in each other, and be more thankful for all that we have. I'm at a place where I'm happy and content, and there's nowhere else I'd rather be. I'm excited for all the journeys, challenges, changes, and memories we have waiting for us.

I'm a mom and we are a family.
I never dreamed it would be this amazing. Truly. I enjoyed the years before babies; we had the freedom to do what we wanted, when we wanted, go anywhere we wanted, stay up late, sleep in late. However, I now see that it was the perfect time for a new chapter in life to begin. It has been a dream come true to be a family and watch Elliott grow. There is no greater joy than all three of us lying on the living room floor playing together, or lying in bed reading books together. We are 'The 3 Musketeers'. There is nothing else I would rather be doing with my life right now than being a mom. I will have a lifetime for a career. Right now, it's my time to love on my baby... or, perhaps, babies. I can't even imagine all the fun plans God has in store for our family!

I appreciate time with loved ones.
There were some hard goodbyes in my twenties. Two of the hardest deaths were my Grandpop and Grandmom.  We had other family members pass away, too. The day our dog Alex died was heart-wrenching. A Marine in Tony's unit was killed in Iraq. A friend I made in a kick-boxing class was murdered by her abusive boyfriend. We said goodbye to lives that were long and well-lived, and we witnessed devastating losses too early. Deaths reminded us to cherish life, but there was one experience that truly changed my way of living- My dad had cancer. It was then that I really learned to appreciate every single day, challenge myself to enjoy the small things, look on the bright side, and remember how short life really is. It also taught me to never stop believing in miracles. When we were told my dad only had months to live, I literally wanted to hold on tight and never let him go. And I guess, figuratively, I've just kind of done that a little bit more with all the people in my life. I pray all the relatives older than me will live to be very, very old ages, and I pray I will outlive all the loved ones younger than me, but that's not a guarantee. So, I will savor and appreciate the days we still have together.

I try to do what is best for me.
I try not to put unnecessary pressure on myself for perfection or criticize myself.  I've learned I'm not here to impress others or reach unobtainable standards. I'm here to enjoy my life and make it the best it can be. I try to take care of my body-- I make better food choices and try to stay active, I also lather on sunscreen. I've found hobbies and projects to keep me challenged and busy. I've learned to distance myself from unhealthy and negative friendships and give more energy to those that deserve it. (But sometimes that can be tough with a child + husband in medical school.) I've made parenting choices based on what I feel is best for us, not based other's opinions on what should be best for us. I try to look on the bright side. I give more to others than what I expect to receive. When I need a break, I try to take a little time to pamper and refresh myself. I refuse to let any circumstances steal or define my joy, because joy and happiness can be found all around us, each and every single day. I don't focus on the things I don't have, instead I prefer to be thankful for all that I do have. I feel like these are the years to focus on making myself the best woman I can be. I'm a work in progress... but I'm learning.  

I don't underestimate the power of dreaming and planning... and hard work. 
Enough said. Hard work pays off. Plans, goals, and dreams do come true!


The last 30 years has been a beautiful ride and, still, the best is yet to come.

And may none of us ever forget:

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."

I want my days to be full of grace, learning, accepting, loving, and laughing! 

Happy Birthday To Me.